Sunday, April 16, 2017

AXKLOWN

"A candy-colored clown they call the Sandman tiptoes to my room every night," crooned the clown, ax in hand...


Axl Topp was born into the circus of pure clown stock. Traveling on the road from town to town with his parents, Mr. Giggly and Miss Smiles, young Axl dreamed of becoming the first clown superhero. He hadn't yet learned the value of being a cut-up or for keeping people in stitches, but he was already knockin' 'em dead with his acrobatics and balloons.


Then one day recently the circus had to shut down. Not enough money coming in. Not enough revenue. Not enough ticket sales. Public attendance just...gone. After all that time. The journey, the struggles, struggles of the peoples. Motherfuck! this pissed him off. Axl Topp blew his top, that's what happened. Topp's sanity toppled--top that! And well the thing is, there really are aliens--and that's a whole other thing to get into some other time, but just, right now--there really are outer space aliens and all sorts of weird things, and well, someone had a plan for ol' Axl. They got him one night when he was sleeping, and they changed him, and they gave him amazing powers, so that they could watch him be funny getting back at the wrongdoing public as the self-proclaimed world's first serial killer (oops, said it!) serial killer superhero, Axklown!


He can make balloons do things! Like appear out of thin air, perhaps inter-dimensionally, envelope a man, struggling helpless inside (so funny!), and carry him away high over a sharp rocky gorge before, haha, suddenly disappearing! Poof! Just like that, no more balloon. See now, what makes it funny is that the man then falls to the hard rocky place way down there. And gets all broken.


So:  power over balloons, plus he swings a mean ax! So funny. Of course he has power over other clowns. They become entranced and unwittingly perform his bidding! He can control clown hordes.


Sometimes Axklown wears a wing suit. It's a full-body latex superhero-type deal, with dark clown colors stylized, like one of those tuxedo t-shirts, all classy. Yes, he does drive a small car, but it gets great gas mileage, and with the money he saves he's able to buy gasoline to squirt out of the flower on his lapel all over you before striking a match. HaHa! Although sometimes it's bleach, other times other things, always Axklown follows the comedic flow and just does whatever's funny. Usually with the ax...






Yeah, goin' ahead and starting yet another. Better to do it than to not. Try to hit it when I can. Gotta keep it fresh. Gotta dance harder for ya.


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