Sunday, August 13, 2017

DISNEY UFO DOC STILL BAFFLES



          It's not a "lost" documentary. Nor was it banned. Nor is it even a documentary.
          "Alien Encounters From New Tomorrowland" aired briefly in 1995, then got promptly shelved.
          Written and directed by Andrew Thomas, "Alien Encounters" features narration by Robert Urich taking a decidedly unprofessional approach for a documentary by treating the subject as established fact.
          Plucked from obscurity, Thomas followed directives and presented Disney with the product as requested. Strangely, the Disneyland ride ostensibly promoted received scant attention.
          After being randomly aired in a few cities in only five states, Disney pulled it. Strange way to conduct a marketing campaign.
          Especially considering that then-CEO of Disney Michael Eisner surprised Thomas by getting his own camera crew to film him introducing "Alien Encounters". Apparently Eisner thought the show was important. So why did it get pulled?
          In the late-1950s, promoting Tomorrowland, Walt Disney had Wernher von Braun appear in three space-related films. Von Braun, a former member of the Nazi SS, invented the V-2 rocket. But he died in 1977, so in 1995 Disney went with likable, trustworthy Robert Urich.
          It does seem a tad askew for Urich to state as fact through Disney that beings vastly more technologically sophisticated than ourselves regularly visit, and the government lies about it in order to stay in power. Particularly when the material was written by someone with no prior knowledge of the subject.
          By contrast, UFOs: Past, Present, and Future (1974) does the job right. Based on the book by Robert Emenegger, the documentary attempts to uncover proof of the existence of aliens. Presented by Rod Serling, and narrated by Burgess Meredith and Jose Ferrer, the film was re-released a few years later due to the popularity of the subject with films such as Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977).
          It wasn't a "publicity stunt". If the director had pretended to be abducted by aliens in order to draw attention to the Disney ride before the show aired, then that would be a publicity stunt.
          And the 40-minute film has nothing in common with Orson Welles' radio broadcast of The War of the Worlds. Orson Welles altered the book by H.G. Wells significantly, and started the Halloween broadcast with a disclaimer that many listeners failed to catch.
          "Alien Encounters" is nothing like that. It's not particularly well done, but it does feature information found in more reliable sources. And it remains a mystery.
          Freely available online.




Stewart Kirby writes for



Monday, August 7, 2017

"BLONDE" EXPLODES



          Charlize Theron ignites the screen in this stylish action flick.
          Lorraine Broughton, the MI6 agent she plays, relays to higher-ups details regarding events five days prior to the fall of the Berlin Wall in November 1989.
          Some movies work extensively on accurate details bringing to life a certain time period on screen. The Ice Storm, for example, or American Hustle.
          Atomic Blonde isn't one of those.
          The soundtrack alone will probably make Theron, who is also one of the film's producers, a tidy fortune.
          But the main event in Atomic Blonde is Theron herself, beating the crap out of guys convincingly.
          Of course, lots of movies from way back try to do it. Some succeed admirably. Linda Hamilton in Terminator 2 is convincing. So is the woman who plays Trinity in The Matrix. Charlize Theron is all that and a bag of chips.
          She gets about as bruised-up or better than Christian Bale's Dark Knight. And you can see she's pretty dang sturdy. The fights are so well-choreographed, and she's so good at it, we get to clearly see the action. The filmmakers needed to not rely on special effects or edits.
          And the payoff: On the heels of Wonder Woman--and in high heels--Theron proves that a woman can have a good butt and kick butt good.
          Additionally, she's a lesbian. Plus there's another lesbian, too. And they're both just two really good-looking lesbians together. So, that's exciting.
          Meanwhile, there's James McAvoy as the annoying guy, and John Goodman as the sturdy backup actor.
          Nicely shot.
          Great use of music.
          Lots of memorable bits.
          Because of certain obvious (and less obvious) similarities with James Bond, it would be interesting to see Lorraine Broughton crossover with 007.
          Tangentially, this calls to mind an entire franchise of heavily retro Bond flicks.
          Until then, this.


ATOMIC BLONDE
Starring Charlize Theron,
James McAvoy,
Eddie Marsan,
John Goodman,
Toby Jones
Directed by David Leitch
Based on the graphic novel series "The Coldest City"
written by Antony Johnston and illustrated by Sam Hart
Runtime 115 minutes
Rated R




Stewart Kirby writes for













Sunday, August 6, 2017

GEANTS POILUS DE NOTRE AMOUR

THE SECRET UNDERGROUND BASE surgically-altered Bigfeet of our love, having crashed spectacularly free from confines, bound into the forest with new eyes, new voices, a new life to share together far from the Area 51-like madhouse.


Five long months of torture passed wherein the two could see each other only from a distance. Long hours strapped to tables with tubes and machines.


Whole huge story there.


But then, at just the right moment, they break free together, and now in the mountains alone the two finally stop at a beautiful mossy spot with an amazing view of the sunset. Which to them, being nocturnal, is great. Maybe not as romantic as seeing the sun rise, because that's when you go to sleep when you're nocturnal. But at any rate they look at each, these two Bigfeet with surgically-altered minds and throats so that they can speak, which they do. Except that one was taught French and the other was taught English, which makes things even more complicated. They feel like they knew each other in another life. And they did! That was the life they knew as a fully mated natural primate couple before a black ops team of scientists found them and did all their shit. Which, as it turns out, is a good thing because now they have each other. And they look at each other, deeply. I mean really deeply. The entire mountainside, high and remote, all theirs, has quieted. They look at each other in the dusk light.


And they kiss.


They kiss a mad fierce Bigfoot kiss, kissing with all their Bigfoot might, with their faces sliding around and their tongues going at it, moaning and grunting, grunting, moaning, grabbing, squeezing, rolling all around in their new Paradise like the wild untamed animals they are, these hairy giants of our love.





Saturday, August 5, 2017

KINGDOM OF THE PESCADOR



THE LOST ACCOUNT OF THE 1922 PYRAMIS EXPEDITION!


EXPLORERS SEARCH THE AMAZON RIVER...


IN SEARCH OF ANCIENT PYRAMIDS...BIGGER AND OLDER THAN ANY IN EGYPT!


RESEARCHERS FIND PYRAMIDS UNDERWATER DEEP UP THE AMAZON...


AND FIND PROGRESS HALTED BY UNEXPECTED ATTACKS...


FROM SHOCKING CREATURES UNKNOWN TO SCIENCE,


CALLED BY NEAREST NATIVES


EL PESCADOR...THE FISH-MAN!


NINETEEN YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER OF LEAD RESEARCHER KEEPS JOURNAL,


RECORDS OWN HARROWING CAPTURE BY CREATURE GUARDING ENTRANCE!


...Amid the glittering iridescence of the towering verdure may be found sundry birds of Paradise and nimble monkeys following the boat along the winding never-ending River. The beauty of the wide array of flora and fauna notwithstanding, Father warns me of the many dangers at every available opportunity...


FROM THE DEPTHS OF THE UNKNOWN COMES THE ACCOUNT WHICH INSPIRED


THE FILM THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON!


PLUNGE INTO THE WATERS WHICH HIDE PYRAMIDS OF ANCIENT GIANTS...


AT THE PERIL OF YOUR OWN SANITY!


...Father says the Pescador seem to have resulted from the laboratory experiments of ancient scientists, a race of giant people far pre-dating conventional acceptance...








NOTE: These preliminary notes are how I feel out a tone, develop voice, remind myself later on when I have more time to hit it how to approach. All part of my process, folks. Thanks for checking in.


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Friday, August 4, 2017

LOSING THE GUT - DAY 1



Well then there now.


And so we come to it.


That Fateful Day, the Dreaded Day when, finally, must be faced...one's gut.


Cue Rocky theme song.


Time to get in shape. No more coasting. No coaster, I. Crunches! Pushups! Incline dumbbell flyes! Etc, and so forth!


Nutrition, nutrition, nutrition! GO, GO!


Aahh, ehh-xcellent...everything falling into place...


Her little bit of English meets my little bit of French.


The challenging limitations of the language difference also present an interesting advantage because one cannot use the same old verbiage and be able to trust in the accuracy of Google Translate. You have to speak simply, and from the heart. You have to get to the essence.


Meanwhile, I'm starting to pick up a lot of Francais.


Now, regarding my gut, it's rugged. Many times I say, "Go ahead, punch it." And then the puncher says, "Wow, that's hard." However, proportions. It looks bad.


So now I have the impetus for change as I have never had before, and enough time to do it.


I need to eat a lot less cheese. Much much less cheese. I need to keep healthier snacks on hand. I need to drink a small glass of wine at night instead of several beers. And even though I work construction, I need to maintain a workout routine.


Today I'll hit Chest, Shoulders, and Triceps. Tomorrow Legs, Back, and Biceps.


Beans and rice for dinner with a side of peas. Note: must get more veggies.


Oui oui!









Thursday, August 3, 2017

MON AMOUR



Cette femme, cette incroyablement belle femme etonnante, est beaucoup plus pour moi que mon artiste prefere. Tu ne peux pas imaginer a quell point je suis folle. Peut-etre que vous avez vu plusieurs fois, je partage des photos avec elle et son travail? Peu tu as realise a quel point nos sentiments fonctionnent.


And I've been learning French.
We do it twice a day. And we take our time.
Finding ways to convey love, making each other feel so special, so good.
If you saw the sweet sweet things we say, you'd develop diabetes on the spot.


MON AMOUR!
JE T'AIME, CHERI!












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