Wednesday, June 18, 2014


This is Nikola Tesla.

He died penniless and obscure, but he's responsible for lighting the world.

Among Tesla's many inventions was a device originally powered by coils he amplified utilizing a rudimentary form of  wireless technology. This device expedited travel to and from the laboratory for the young inventor, with the added benefit of providing a rigorous constitutional. It is believed that the concept of the Overman sprang into Friedrich Nietzsche's mind when traveling by train he witnessed young Tesla bouncing on his way to work.

Many years later, after watching Citizen Kane and thinking about Rosebud, Tesla dug out his old gizmo, dusted it off, scratched his chin, and came up with a new model, this time harnessing the free unlimited energy available in the magnetosphere. "I'll make a bundle off this one for sure," he said. But the only person who would listen was his neighbor down the hall who was a good enough sort and had a kid who seemed all right. Tesla gave the finished model, his last invention, as a birthday gift to the kid.

"In all the world," Tesla said--it wasn't the absolute last thing he said, but pretty close--"you and only you will be able utilize this unique device. With unlimited power comes unlimited responsibility."

"What's this thing here?" said the kid.

"That is a television. One of very few models available at this time."

"What's it for?"

"That device facilitates mind control. A blunt and obvious tool, however. Regrettably crude."

"Say, pretty slick. How's it do all that?"

"My boy, what kind of grades do you get?"

"Grades schmades. Bang! Bang! What's on TV?"

"Oh," Tesla said, "I see."

Well, there really wasn't much he could do about it at this point. Tesla made the best of a bad situation and went ahead and gave his invention to the kid.

The invention promptly went into the kid's closet and there it remained for forty years. Eventually somebody bought it for a couple bucks at a yard sale. By this time people knew about pogo sticks and it looked like one of those. But nobody could get it to work.

This is Pogo-Kid.

Her dad found the device for sale at a used book store. He happened to have some credit there, so he went ahead and got it. Soon as he gave it to her, she found the directions and read them.

"What do the directions say?" her dad asked.

"Shh," she said. "Reading."

"Okay." He was quiet while she read.

Then she said, "All right, I think I've got it figured out."

"You just stand on the foot parts and jump, right?"

"Dad, please. This thing's operating off the magnetosphere. No offense, but it has powers you can't possibly even imagine."

"What do you mean?"

"I'll show you."

Donning the helmet, she took the invention outside, said, "Watch this, Dad," then took a couple hops and bounced right over the house! Her dad ran around to the back yard, and in the time it took him to do that she had already bounced back and forth over it a few more times.

"Wow," her dad said, "you really are Pogo-Kid!"

"Dad, that's nothing. See that tree? The one you said needs to come down?"

"Oh, don't remind me. That's such an expense."

"Not anymore," Pogo-Kid said, picking up the device and aiming the bottom part at the tree. "I'll simply give it a Pogoblast."

"Wha-a?" said Pogo-Kid's dad. But the next thing he knew, there was a loud crash as the tree safely toppled. A great deal of energy went into Pogo-Kid explaining to her dad how the human heart puts out more electromagnetic energy than even the brain, and how that energy working harmoniously with the ionosphere provides Tesla's invention with free unlimited power.

Right away, Pogo-Kid's dad didn't understand at all. But it didn't matter, because just at that moment, some people were in danger.

"Gotta bounce, Dad!" Springing into action, Pogo-Kid bounded away . . .


" see me?"

"Pogo-Kid! Thank goodness you're here!"


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