I'm Stew. I write. If you're a reader, check this out:
I'm also the movie reviewer for The Independent since 2002,
and here I am outside The Trees of Mystery with Paul Bunyan.
Years ago, in Willow Creek.
In the Trees of Mystery Gift Shop.
Notice the twisted pose, in keeping with the Bluff Creek film footage famously taken by Ed Gimlin with Roger Patterson also on horseback nearby. Not from from Eureka, in fact. That's about an hour north from where I live in Humboldt County, California.
And then there's this.
The famous Patterson-Gimlin film from Bluff Creek.
This Bigfoot sports...pendulous breasts.
None of the fake stuff does. Just this film.
Because it really is real. The definitive proof, has, much like in a Poe story, been obvious all along.
The depictions are always male because everybody wants a big buck Bigfoot. Nobody indicates a great big powerful super-muscled bipedal primate apelike-man/manlike-ape with tits. Guaranteed.
No man, not even a former Yakima, Washington rodeo rider in 1967, one day decides to fool all them scientists--including Dr. Jane Goodall, including Dr. Grover Krantz--with a Bigfoot tit-suit.
No fuckin' way.
And that's one way to see that, yep, Bigfeet exist, all right.
Great big hairy mothers.
And, in fact, there is a 14 foot-tall Asian ape on the fossil record called Gigantopithecus Blackie, so it's not like we're talking about walking on water, rising from the dead, or turning water into wine, here.
Plus: dermal ridges, casts of Bigfeet footprints taken in remote areas with not only dermal ridges, but in on e case a club foot ("impossible to fake," according to Dr. Grover Krantz), plus a WHOLE LOT of other information that I think I'm gonna get into here, but, for now, the breasts.
The obvious, pendulous, totally real, hairy Bigfoot breasts.
So it's not a matter of conjecture. This isn't something where I might be luckily, accidentally, more right than I knew. I am one hundred percent right, and I one hundred percent know it. It's incredible to me that anyone could see that picture with those breasts and not immediately recognize the impossibility of it being fake based on the evidence of the breasts alone. I've never heard anyone else say any of this. I'm the only one I've ever heard say any of this. I relish knowing what I know. I relish my status as the man on the mountain shaking his fist at the world. Individuals are usually fine. Similarly, most groups lick poop. How gullible the masses, always waiting on mainstream consensus, too dumb and scared to figure things out all by themselves. That's all right with me. I enjoy my history of being way ahead of the curve.
That pendulous, breast-like curve.